In
any situation we still choose our next action even though it may only be a
thought. Even though a threat may lead to our death it does not absolutely determine
our next choice or the consequences of that choice. When we experience fear the larger danger is to choose
powerlessness. Closely focusing on a bully is a mistake. Listening too
closely to fearful people as they make impulsive choices is a mistake. Owning my choice and my possible outcomes gives me at least a bit of autonomy. CMB
Older
People are becoming a larger and larger percentage of the world
population.
Some say older people are becoming an overwhelming burden
upon the youth of the world.
Of course if I qualify as Old I still
qualify as a Person.
As days and weeks and months and years and
decades go by each person has more and more knowledge and perspective.
If I, as an
older and older person use my increasing knowledge and perspective to do better
and better self-care... I will more than carry my own weight in the
world.
- When I make the difficult choice not to look up to others it is much easier to choose not to look down. - When I make the difficult choice not to blame I spend less time forgiving. - When I stop focusing on a bully I make it unnecessary to hate the bully.
The first Bully of every day... is the negative voice within me.
When my intention is to dis-enthrall myself from my impulses I can choose to notice, interrupt and replace my negative self talk. I can then choose to frame my day with functional, positive truth.
As a 21st century social
scientist, when I refer to God I am attempting to be respectful to the unknown
and to the mysteries of creation.I am
being aware that I am one witness among billions of perspectives who each find unique
meaning in any number of Gods.I am aware
that I am not the designer.When I
create a brilliant theory or witness an event and believe I understand… I can
choose to remember that I am one witness among billions of witnesses.I can choose be proud or I can choose to be
serine, probably not both at once.I can
choose to seek meaning.I can talk about
what I believe I am witnessing.I can
seek feedback and I may or may not choose to expand my awareness.
I am not declaring my personal religion.
My personal religion can be understood by
you… only as I
choose to share with you my daily project of sorting out my leaving the home of
my childhood, leaving the home of my parents, leaving the home of my nation,
leaving the home of my culture and leaving the home my planet to find my
personal orientation and relationship with where we all live and with each of
your perspectives as we step along our mutual journey.
I can think of many labels I might use.I don’t think that would help you know me
better.
“As a nation, we began by declaring that 'all men are created
equal.' We now practically read it 'all men are created equal, except
negroes.' When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read 'all men are
created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics.' When it
comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make
no pretense of loving liberty – to Russia, for instance, where
despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocrisy.”
"If we grow up fearing mistakes, we may become afraid to try new things. Making mistakes is a natural part of being human and a natural part of the way to learn. It's an important lesson, at any time of life, but certainly the earlier the better. We all make mistakes as we grow, and not only is there nothing wrong with that, there's everything right about it."
Could the young but realize how soon they
will become mere walking bundles of habits, they would give more heed to
their conduct while in the plastic state.
If parents and grandparents could but realize the power of
their self-care as a developing model for their intensely observant children and grandchildren, they would give more heed to noticing, interrupting,
and replacing their own negative self-talk and their impulsive and dysfunctional
repetitive behavior.
When Elders do better self-care, kids do better self-care.
Something happened between father and son for this to be possible.
Something happened between the killer in the church and his father that carried tragedy forward.
I am a walking faith-reason ping pong match. But I know
that the risky and terrifying leap into the unknown of change takes love
and an "idea" I call faith that tells me the leap is somehow within my
capacity even though I do not have reason to believe it. The killer in
the church did not take a leap. He didn't do anything but do an impulse
passed directly down the generations. Young Mr. Thurmond however
appears to be putting both sets of his toes out in the air based on the
"idea" that he will land on new solid ground. He acted on the "idea" that it is in his capacity...
without sufficient reason to believe it to be so. My hat is off to
him.
What we need to remember most of all is that the Civil War is not over
until we, today, have done our part in fighting it, as well as
understanding what happened when the Civil War generation fought it.
The Civil War is still going on, it’s still to be fought, and,
regrettably, it can still be lost.
As a little boy I was intensely curious about the Civil War and about
nearby Gettysburg PA. I didn't know I was being socialized as a lower
class white racist. I didn't know any black kids. I rarely saw black
people even in the city of Columbus, just south of where we lived. We
had visited the battlefield at Gettysburg. I had a rather detailed and
graphic booklet from the museum there. I still have that booklet.
Fence rows of gray suited and blue suited corpses
lying together. I became curious about war. When I saw those
photographs of the dead soldiers I realized I was being trained to be a
dead soldier. I then became curious about slavery. One of my first
feelings upon seeing photographs of blacks in slavery was that I felt
like a slave owner. Again I realized I was being trained. I am still
aware of the deepest darkest parts of me... all linked up with my
deepest rage and shame. Shame and rage. At 67 I suppose it is time to
accept that those deep dark rages and shames are there because I was
taught to accept that I was never going to be very high on the
hierarchical power pole and that was a deep shameful thing for a boy
that would someday be a Presbyterian man. (Someone who was supposed to
believe in predestination and who was reminded often that he would not
be among the "Chosen".) I was being trained to want to be a slave owner
and I was being trained to believe that I would always FALL SHORT of
earning that "lofty goal".
I remembering hearing or reading the Gettysburg Address around the same time. A part of me felt that redemption might be a real thing.
Later as I watched the Civil Rights Movement unfold before my eyes on television I realized that enslavement and slave mastering did in fact continue, not just as a guilty thing within me but in much bigger ways outside of Lewis Center, Ohio out in the larger world of fire hoses, lunch counters, lynchings, Jim Crow, bus strikes and Freedom Marches. It was a big thing for everyone. Being quite immature I thought that perhaps some great healing was happening in the country and there would be an end to all the misery out there and in me.
I have learned to re-frame my hopelessness and my rosy eyed hopes of redemption in the world of Race in my own country in my lifetime.
I have learned that I must re-build the re-frame every
day... or the old shamefulness and rage rules my day. An awful legacy.
My son says that he feels he didn't get all of what I got... from me. I hope
not. I certainly agree that the war goes on. It continues inside of
me each day. This struggle must happen every day. It can be lost within me every day. So, redemption is available to me but I can choose to build it daily or it won't be there. I can choose to make it part of my daily mental health and spiritual hygiene, or not. My daily, "measure of devotion".
